|Big Blend e-News Sign Up! Trivia, Articles, Videos, Event News, Radio Shows and More!|
This site developed by Big Blend Magazine™. copyrighted since 1998. No part of it may be reproduced for any reason, with out written permission from Big Blend Magazine, P.O. Box 6201, North Hollywood, CA 91601. Opinions expressed by contributors are not necessarily that of this publication or any of its staff. We reserve the right to edit submittals. All subject matter is intended for general information only and not to be take as personal advice in any matter. Although every effort is made to be accurate, we cannot be held responsible for inaccuracies or plagiarized copy submitted to us by advertisers or contributors.
Jim Duzak -
Off Your Plate
By Jim Duzak, the 'Attorney at Love' & Author of 'Mid-
One of the things I admire most about women is their generosity of spirit. Nearly
every woman I know spends an incredible amount of time tending to the needs of her
immediate family, her aging parents, her friends, her co-
But the downside of this generosity is burnout. Too many women are perpetually running
on empty. You may not hear them complain but, if encouraged to talk, they’ll admit
For women with too much on their plate, my advice is simple: take something off your
No, I’m not advocating child neglect, nor am I suggesting you adopt a don’t-
Is it possible that you’re spending more time organizing your child’s life than is
healthy for either of you? Is it possible that your brothers and sisters are “useless”
when it comes to helping out with your parents, but largely because you haven’t insisted
that they be useful? Is it possible that you have some friends or co-
If these situations sound familiar, you’re in good company. But the fact that millions
of other women are overburdened or under-
I like to say that the key to lasting change is “Little Things, Repeated Often.” Whether it’s losing weight, getting in shape, or enhancing a love relationship, you normally don’t have to do anything drastic. If you can adjust your daily habits just a little, you’ll accomplish your goal.
Of course, the first few days are the hardest. Just as it’s hard to hold off on dessert when you’ve always had it, it’s hard to say no to someone you’ve always said yes to. But once you’ve done it, you’ll realize that it wasn’t as difficult as you thought. And it doesn’t mean you’ll never say yes again, only that you’ll have to let your own needs determine what you can do and when you can do it.
Start with the most peripheral relationships. It may sound harsh, but that so-
The demands of church, school, charitable, and neighborhood groups can be harder to resist, because these organizations can’t survive without someone volunteering their time. But that someone doesn’t always have to be you. You’ll be a more effective volunteer if you focus on just one group and either withdraw from the others or support them with whatever financial help you can afford.
None of this requires rudeness. “Thanks for asking but I’m just too busy right now” may be all you need to say. Or the situation may call for dividing the job up and asking the other person to do some of it (“I can either help mom with the doctor visits or I can check out assisted living centers, but I can’t do both. Which would you rather do?”). Or, in the case of kids, you can back off entirely and let them learn a valuable skill (“Honey, I can’t be talking to Sarah’s mother every time the two of you have an argument. You girls need to figure out how to solve your problems on your own”).
By freeing yourself from one-