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MaryAine Curtis offers Feng Shui for the Soul and is an Emissary of Change, Spiritual Guide, Master Rapid Eye Technician, Speaker & Visionary. MaryAine Curtis has been helping people professionally as a holistic therapist since 1996. To schedule a Discovery Session with her, call (805) 215-8808 or email her through

Family Traditions
Sharing Traditions and Creating New Ones as a Couple

Every family has traditions that are honored throughout the year. They may be very rigid and exact or loosely woven and changeable.  They say that opposites attract each other and blending traditions is a sticky issue, especially during holidays and birthdays when you have to make decisions about where to go or if you stay home and create your own traditions.

Some of the biggest arguments come from expectations about where the family goes for the holidays. The pressure may come from all sides so as a couple; you need to decide how to proceed as a couple. You’ve united to create your own life and traditions and the rest of the family may or may not agree with you.

When you were newlyweds, you may have assumed that family traditions would naturally be followed. Did you ever talk about this? I didn’t. I assumed that we would do what my family did because we lived so close.  It may be normal and expected that you go to Mom’s like you always have.  When this assumption creates tension in your relationship, it’s time to talk about it. It may be time to cut the apron strings too.

Some couples alternate holiday expectations with the folks, and it seems to create better balance within the relationship. If you discuss this before the holidays it really helps keep life flowing simply. It’s especially important to discuss this before children enter your lives.

Alternating holidays can be as simple as going to your family's celebration for Thanksgiving and his for Christmas or the holidays that you are familiar with. It’s really important to consider starting your own tradition as a couple and inviting the rest of the family to your place so you can do it your way.

As a couple you get to decide what traditions are important to you and then alternate or blend them. My mother always left the Christmas tree up until the Ukrainian Christmas on Jan. 6th; my husband’s family always took the tree down on New Year’s Day.  We could’ve spared ourselves some grief had we known this in the early years of marriage. This is how I learned about blending traditions.

If you run into difficulties with this discussion, you’ll both need to decide if:

- You’d rather be right or happy.

- Is it important to you to start your own traditions?

- How do you see your relationship in 1 year, 5 years, and 20 years?

- Make a list together of all the birthday, anniversary and holiday traditions that you like to participate in. Then discuss what your expectations are for these dates.

Discuss what is really important to you. How will you compromise on the outcome? Make a plan to be happy.