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MaryAine Curtis offers Feng Shui for the Soul and is an Emissary of Change, Spiritual
Guide, Master Rapid Eye Technician, Speaker & Visionary. MaryAine Curtis has been
helping people professionally as a holistic therapist since 1996. To schedule a Discovery
Session with her, call (805) 215-
Dealing with Family Issues
By MaryAine Curtis, Transformation Coach & Spiritual Psychology Coach
It can be hell dealing with family illness and it may last over many generations. It’s a draining and powerless feeling when you learn that your loved one is not getting better and may not WANT to get better because they don’t know how and may be afraid to change the status quo by changing or healing.
We just lost a 27 year old to a drug related tragic accident. She wasn’t ready to get better yet. Now she’s gone forever. Her mom always worried that she would end up dead on the side of the road. Unfortunately, it has happened. My heart is heavy as I write this.
It doesn’t matter if its alcoholism, physical or mental illness or addiction to anything.
It is a family issue.
We are in tough times, and facing whatever is causing the illness is imperative now. Healing the sadness, loss, injury or illness is absolutely necessary as the way to cope with an illness. Every illness gets worse from the fear generated about the unknown aspect of it. We can change our health by believing that it’s possible to get well, instead of blindly excepting a diagnosis.
An energy illness or energy allergy is the underlying cause of illness.
An example is staying in a job that makes you sick. Think about the statement: "My ____ makes me sick or it’s a pain in the neck." Your statements create an energy that can make you sick because you thoughts are so powerful.
Do you live in discord, drama, chaos; always wondering when it will stop? It stops when you decide to take charge of your life and get the help needed to learn how to change. It’s stopping unacceptable behavior and circumstances and changing the things that you can. You start by changing the way that you talk about what’s happening.
When a person walks, after a doctor says that they never will again or beats cancer when there was no hope, it’s because that person has a greater belief in what they will do then the incorrect prophesy of the doctor. They take their life into their own hands and eat the foods necessary to heal their body or they get the help they need to stop repeating harmful family patterns and cure themselves.
An energy allergy occurs when you feel your life getting consumed by the illness, job or relationship. If someone asks you how you are and you respond by telling them about the illness or person with the illness then you have lost yourself. You are not the illness but you are giving your life to the illness. Your thoughts and feelings make it better or worse. You are a person experiencing this thing and you have the choice and the power to change your experience or perception of it, by how you think and talk about it.
Here are examples of an energy illness:
1. Do you feel obligated, guilty or resentful that you have to take care of someone?
2. Do you lose sleep and your health worrying about them?
3. Do you get hives, headaches, ulcers or depression because of the situation you live with?
If you answered yes to any of these, then you may have an energy allergy because your body is having an allergic reaction to the situation and that feels out of control.
How can you help cope with the stress?
1. Stop trying to fix or take care of another person’s problem. Helping when needed is different than being the scapegoat or martyr helper because you don’t know how to say NO to them.
2. If you’re enabling a person to stay helpless then you are part of the problem and it’s easier for them to remain the victim of the illness. You both stay sick.
3. Get help for the whole family, you are all effected by the illness or addiction. Start noticing the patterns of helplessness, resentment, guilt and rescuing behavior.
5. Check your attitude and mindset. How are you feeling when you think you’re helping? What’s your role in this pattern?
6. Start fresh by cutting the energetic cords to the old patterns so that you can see this person through new eyes.
7. Take time for yourself to do what brings joy to you. Rejuvenate yourself especially if you are the primary caregiver of someone.